Logo

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Last Updated: 21.06.2025 00:32

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Do you know what she said mum?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What is the meaning behind people claiming to hear voices of God in their heads without anyone else hearing them? Is this a sign of mental illness or possession by an evil spirit?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.